Taken in Quebec, Canada
I think this photo depicts how I feel right now. Trying to put a word to it but the words don’t seem right.
MY current state doesnt seem to mirror the brightness that this semester is.
On another note, grad trip plans and more importantly JOB plans are all unplanned. Do not leave it to the last thing jia linnnnnnnnnnnn
Taken from godsfingerprints
Yesterday I thanked a friend through her sms for helping to arrange a prayer group meeting. She gave a hearty reply and added “Let’s love serving God”.
That was possibly the most sincere line about serving that I’ve heard for a long time. I repeated it in my head. “Let’s love serving God.” A part of me responded “How does that even feel like?” and another part of me said “But you know how it feels like Jia Lin.”
I messaged sangee noting my friend’s reply (yes I was very encouraged byt it).
During service today the speaker spoke on John 5:1-15, the focus of the scripture being the lame man who was sick for 38 years and Jesus healed him. Jesus asked him “Do you want to get well?”. Instead of an immediate answer “yes”, the lame man replied “Sir, I have no one to help me get me into the pool when the water is stirred”. The speaker went on to talk about how.. some of us; even though we have a sickness or a fault, we don’t see it. And think we’re just fine.
The speaker went on to mention a young lady he met and how she told him with an earnest heart that serving God is something that one should be thankful about, one should be joyful about. To that (and for other reasons he mentioned), he started tearing and paused midspeech.
I looked up from my seat and .. remembered my friend’s message. Like the speaker, I was very much in some kind of a numbed shock. Knowing that serving God should be something we look forward to, something we love, we rejoice to do. We’re smiling from ear to ear and enjoying being a Martha at God’s feet.
But do we even view our service to God as something that is heartwarming, endearing, something close to our heart? Or have we simply been so routinised that we don’t take time to take time.
Do we give our five loaves and two fishes to God by dumping it into God’s hands and running away and getting more food.
Or do we give our five loaves and two fishes to God and having a good chat with God and perhaps even spending time cutting these food items up for him and just being thankful of this time we have with God?
I have much to think about this.
I wait and I wait and I wait and
waiting is tiring.
But is speaking the answer? Or is questioning
What I’m waiting for the right move to make even when I
Know what the answer is.
images taken from www.lylaandblu.com
Coming back to this space and it’s been a while… I feel like even some part of me might have even changed.
I’ve been trying to:
1) lose the stressed up face that i normally give when i’m in charge of something and am running around like a headless chicken (only because this is the only response I have)
2) trying to see the positive in every situation
3) am trying to be more open/public about my r/ship with God… this really isn’t driven by anything i think
4) quell some fears that have created their own vacuums in my eyes. bursting them isn’t easy but man is it necessary
It’s 8 August and tomorrow is National Day. Amidst rumours of “It’s alive” and other disgruntled netizens that can’t the joy Singaporeans are expressing with Feng Tian Wei winning… I am always the excited patriotic I-can’t-wipe-this-smile-off-my-face-and-yes-I-know-I-look-like-an-ass-with-this-smile-but-darn-it-this-day-only-comes-once Singaporean on National Day.
Which is strange, given the list of things I hate about Singapore and that I can produce this list on the spot. But yes there’s just something about National Day that isn’t too commercialised yet and still holds a spot in my heart. Cheesily enough.
Besides this, I’ve got decisions to make by this week and the next. God please provide me with signals and messages because I need them so.
Have a good week :)
Tonight we watch you ruin your birthday & ruin birthday wishes & even gifts that people bought for you.
Knowing that I have your genes sickens me at times like these. I wish I never even tried.
